Just for Teenagers

Until She's Gone^R6

Kaity D.

Iain and I had been dating for a year, though I felt like I had known him my entire life. He was the only person I wanted to talk to when I was feeling blue. A shoulder to cry on at the end of a sad film. Someone who could quite literally turn my frown upside down by throwing me over his shoulder and tickling my toes. Everything between us seemed to be perfect; we were unbreakable. Until he transferred high schools.

Iain and I were already at different schools but they were relatively close and we often rode public transit home together. His new school was closer to his mom's house, and apparently had a significantly larger population of female students. At first I didn't worry. I didn't think I had a reason to; he was my boyfriend. My trustworthy boyfriend who loved me. Yet slowly we began to drift, and more fights began over Iain's flirtatious female study buddies. We were out at a coffee shop by my school when it happened. He looked up from his math homework and uttered the seven most excruciating words ever put in a sentence: "I want to break up with you." His face held no remorse, even as he watched a stream of tears erupt from my eyes. I walked home alone that night with the realization that I was now single. It was the most heartbreaking thought that I had ever had.

Surprisingly enough, a few days later Iain began texting me again. He said that the breakup was just as hard on him and that he was devastated. Though I was hearing several rumors about Iain flirting with other girls, I chose to believe he was changed. We became each other's support system through our own breakup. A few weeks later at a concert, he leaned in and asked me to be his girlfriend again. My immediate reaction was to say yes, but the thoughts of Iain with all those girls began to seep in. He noticed my hesitation and said, "You know Baby, I didn't know how much I needed you until I had lost you." I felt safe again, loved and in love. How could I not forgive him? Even if some of those rumors did prove to be true, Iain and I belonged together. I needed him.

Throughout the next year Iain and I became an on-again off-again couple. Our relationship was an emotional roller coaster and every time I thought the ride was over he'd throw me for another loop. On one of our "off-again" breaks, one of my friends told me that Iain and my best friend Danielle had secretly started to date. Never in my entire life had I felt more betrayed. Nothing Iain could say or do would ever mean anything to me again. Every "I love you" he said had been echoed in someone else's ear. I still cared about him, but I knew I couldn't forgive him for this.

A year later, I was in the very coffee shop where he first broke my heart when I saw him. I had heard from a friend that he and Danielle were recently broken up. He smiled and politely asked to join me and catch up. Twenty-five minutes into our conversation, he still hadn't mentioned his recent breakup. Instead, he looked up from his latte and searched my neckline for the heart-shaped locket I had once wore with such pride. When he discovered my collarbone was bare he looked up at me with defeated eyes and gently said, "You know, I never knew what I had until it was gone. I really miss you." I instantly thought of the night at the concert and how the same words had once made me feel complete. Only then did it finally dawn on me how much I had grown up since I left him. A year ago I thought that I needed him to be happy; no matter what he did to me I could always forgive him. Yet on this day, looking into his sad eyes, I realized that I'd experienced more joy on my own than I ever had with him.

Taking the last sip of my coffee I rose to leave the shop. Before I left, I said, "You know Iain, in my opinion, if you don't realize the value of something while it's still in your possession, then losing it is exactly what you deserve."

I walked home that day with the realization that I was still single. It was the most liberating thought that I have ever had.

(793 words)